{"id":315,"date":"2006-12-07T07:52:34","date_gmt":"2006-12-07T14:52:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/weblog.javazen.com\/?p=315"},"modified":"2006-12-07T07:58:18","modified_gmt":"2006-12-07T14:58:18","slug":"whats-the-matter-with-security","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/weblog.javazen.com\/?p=315","title":{"rendered":"What&#8217;s The Matter With Security?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The TSA has already banned one state of matter in the interests of better airline security. What a pain it has been to dehydrate your person so as to secure a seat in an uncomfortable lawn chair inside an aluminum tube squirting old dinosaurs out the back. Alas, I can hear the TSA bureaucrat scribes busily scribbling the next policy change to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.news.com.au\/story\/0,23599,20886419-2,00.html\">ban gases<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><em>An American Airlines flight has made an emergency landing after a passenger with severe gas problems struck matches to mask the odour of flatulence.<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Dehydrated passengers will henceforth no longer be permitted to breathe for the duration of the flight as all bodily orifices must be surgically sealed before boarding. I predict, soon, carbon atoms will be banned from passenger airline flights. Now <strong>those<\/strong> would be safe flights indeed.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The TSA has already banned one state of matter in the interests of better airline security. What a pain it has been to dehydrate your person so as to secure a seat in an uncomfortable lawn chair inside an aluminum tube squirting old dinosaurs out the back. Alas, I can hear the TSA bureaucrat scribes [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10,11,8],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/weblog.javazen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/315"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/weblog.javazen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/weblog.javazen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/weblog.javazen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/weblog.javazen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=315"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/weblog.javazen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/315\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/weblog.javazen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=315"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/weblog.javazen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=315"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/weblog.javazen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=315"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}