Java Zen:Thinking Out Loud Saturday, 2026.03.28 
Give a man a free house and he'll bust out the windows
Put his family on food stamps, now he's a big spender
No food on the table and the bills ain't paid
'cause he spent it on cigarettes and PGA
They'll turn us all into beggars 'cause they're easier to please
They’re feeding our people that government cheese
It's the man in the White House, the man under the steeple
Passing out drugs to the American people.

		Bob Walkenhorst

2004.08.26

Urban Scare Crow

I believe I’ve hit on a solution for the incessant door-to-door solicitations at my home. There used to be a sign on my front door that said, in bold, “NO SOLICITORS“. Except for a few self-rightious bible thumpers and the occasional butthole, the sign was honored. But someone, probably one of the more aggressive solicitors, pulled the sign down – screws and all. Frustrated after being hit three times within an hour one evening, I ordered the following placard from one of those custom on-line sign shops:

NO SOLISITORS
Violators will be charged a
$50 SOLICITATION FEE

This is taped next to the doorbell and on the inside glass of the storm door where it cannot be removed without serious damage to the door. Since posting this, there hasn’t been a single violation and summer is typically prime door-to-door sales time.

Apparently, the bastards don’t give a crap about respecting a homeowner’s wishes. But they sure as hell are sensitive to hits on their wallets.

😀

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